They Just Don't Get It
by MoosiesRule
Summary: Harry and Draco have decided to launch their relationship publicly, but no one in Hogwarts is taking them seriously! Innuendo, snoggage, and shagging all rolled into one!


**They Just Don't Get It**

"Hermione, Ron, I have something to tell you…"

"What, Harry?" Hermione asked curiously. Harry took a deep breath.

"I'm gay and I'm dating my arch rival, Draco Malfoy."

"That's nice, Harry!" Ron laughed. He gathered up his papers and walked out of the common room. Hermione shot Harry a glare and he yelled at Ron before he left,

"I'm serious, Ron!"

Harry Potter was angry. Malfoy was sitting next to him with a large and undoubtedly silly smirk pasted on his face. Harry was also scared. Last time Draco had worn a smirk that big for over a half hour, Harry had ended up chained to Draco's bed and screaming. Not that he hadn't enjoyed it, but that was beside the point. Draco chose this moment to look over at him and grin. If anything, the smile made Harry more nervous than ever. He felt a hand on the inside of his thigh and jerked his head up from the Potions assignment suddenly. Hermione and Ron shot odd looks in his direction and he grinned with a somewhat pained expression as Draco slid his hand higher up Harry's leg.

"Stop, Draco." He muttered softly.

"No." Draco smirked again.

"Bloody hell, would you stop smirking?" Harry raised his voice to a yell. Half the class turned to look at them. Draco squeezed Harry's leg softly.

"Nope."

"Fuck you."

"I plan to, Potter."

"Not here!" Harry whispered furiously.

"Definitely not here." Draco thought for a moment, "Your room, tonight."

"Draco!"

"Fine," He raised his voice slightly. "Professor Snape?" He asked as innocently as he could manage, "Potter and I have some business to attend to outside of class, would you mind if we left a little early today?"

"May I ask what is so important to you that you should leave my class early, Draco?"

"We were planning on having wild, passionate sex in the Astronomy Tower, but I suppose if that's not appropriate, we could use your storeroom."

"Mr. Malfoy!"

"Or your desk, we've done that before." Here, Snape spared a glance to his desk with a foul look on his face.

"Both of you, detention!"

"Oh, good!" Draco began, "That's how we passed our last detention by!" Snape shuddered.

"Separately!" He barked.

"Professor! You don't actually believe the rubbish Malfoy's been spouting!" Ron blurted.

"I don't see Potter denying it." Snape shuddered again.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" Harry stood up and marched out of the classroom, dropping a piece of parchment on the floor, which Draco picked up, read, and smirked at.

"Stop smirking, Malfoy!" Ron yelled, confused.

"Well, it seems that Harry has taken me up on my offer, Professor, so I'll be off!" Draco cheerily strode out of the classroom, sliding his cloak of his shoulders and unbuttoning his shirt deliberately. Harry returned to the Gryffindor common room later looking absolutely ravished. Ron refused to believe the rumors, no matter how obvious the evidence was, and Hermione ignored Harry completely.

The next week, in Potions, Harry was daydreaming silently and innocently while Draco concocted their potion. "Potter! You're supposed to be paying attention! What are you thinking about?" Snape demanded.

"Draco." Harry muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Really, Mr. Potter. This whole façade has gone on far too long."

"It's not a façade, Professor! You caught us yourself last night in the Prefect's bathroom!" Draco half yelled.

"I did no such thing!" Professor Snape yelled back.

"How could you forget that? I was giving him a bl…"

"That's quite enough, Mr. Malfoy! Get back to your potion immediately."

"Sorry, too distracted by Harry." Draco muttered sarcastically.

"Now, Mr. Malfoy!" Draco grumbled and turned back toward the cauldron, rolling his eyes in an annoyed fashion.

"Are you wearing eyeliner, Draco?" Harry asked curiously, and loudly, in the middle of Transfiguration.

"Yes, Harry my love!" Draco shouted. "It's because I'm GAY and I like looking like a fruitcake!" He licked his lips, "Do you like it!"

"I think it's fucking hot!"

"So we can shag later, right!"

"Mr. Malfoy, language!" McGonagall barked.

"I was just saying how much I love Harry, professor!" Draco shouted.

"And how I think he's deliciously shaggable!" Harry yelled back.

McGonagall rolled her eyes and walked away from them, muttering.

"This isn't working." Draco moaned unhappily, "No one believes us."

"So far all we've done is talk, Draco."

"Shouldn't that be enough?"

"This is so annoying!" Harry yelled, his loudest outburst yet. The whole class turned to look at them. Harry did the only thing he could think of. He kissed his boyfriend. He slipped his tongue inside Draco's mouth and moaned for effect. Ron looked horrified.

"Oh my God!" He yelled. Professor McGonagall quickly broke the two boys apart and gave them separate detentions. Hermione looked absolutely shocked and the rest of the class began gossiping. McGonagall excused the boys from the rest of their lesson and they left to find a nice, quiet corner of the castle. When Harry came back to the Gryffindor common room, looking absolutely ravished, Ron pulled an odd sort of expression and stalked out, while Hermione looked at him curiously. Harry just smirked.

a/n: Hey! I'm kinda on a Draco/Harry mindset whatever at the moment and just sat down thinking 'hey! I'll just doodle with words for a bit,' this is what happened. I kinda like it…let me know what you thought! Guys in eyeliner are hot...(well, certain guys.)


End file.
